WHY WE FAIL TO SUCCEED – Part I

International best-selling author, psychotherapist and speaker, Amy Morin delves into the topic of how to become mentally strong. If you are familiar with the video platform known as “Ted Talks,” she is one of the top 15 Ted talks of all time.

Amy Morin has helped a lot of people to accomplish goals by outlining the common things that get in their way. She wrote, “How to Overcome the 9 Most Common Obstacles that Prevent People from Living Their Dreams.” Underlying that title is the understanding that before you can change your life, you have to believe that change is even possible.

If we approach our weight loss as something we would like to obtain, but don’t really believe we can get there or stay there, then we will be less likely to be successful. Many of us have traveled down the weight loss road so many times that we believe we can put a dent in our weight for a while, but the idea of permanent change for us seems unattainable.

Regardless of the goal that someone is trying to reach, there are some common traps we can all fall into, especially if we aren’t aware of what they are or that they even exist. 

So, why don’t we delve into those nine most common traps to see if any ring true for us.

Okay, number one is “Putting Your Goals off Until Someday.” Someday is not a day on the calendar. You have to make a clear decision about when you are going to begin to move forward on your goals and have a plan ready to implement in order to get there.

Having a start date is critical. It is a dividing line between the old and the new. From that line you can see what was left behind on one side, and what lies ahead on the other. It’s not enough to just dream of reaching that goal, you have to start now, or at least decide when you will.

The second common trap is “Waiting to Take Action Until You ‘Feel’ Ready.” Who ever really feels ready??? If you wait until you feel like it, you may be waiting an awful long time. Feelings should never be your motivation, because they aren’t reliable.

We can change our feelings or emotions on a dime. You have to change your behavior first, and then the feelings are more likely to follow. Take action and then you can gain the ambition you need to keep going.

Amy’s third obstacle is, “Not Anticipating the Tough Times.” I would submit that not many of us want to anticipate difficulty ahead. We tend to want to wait and deal with things when they happen. This approach often results in us being totally surprised and/or disillusioned when those tough times arrive.

If you’re trying to lose weight and change your eating habits from dieting to eating for a lifestyle, you are going to encounter some tough times! Know that ahead of time, but don’t let it worry you. Once again, create a plan. Be proactive. Think about the potential pitfalls you might face, and develop a plan for dealing with them so that you don’t give in. When you have a plan, you are going to walk into situations feeling much more confident in your ability to overcome temptations and keep going.

Okay, moving on to number four… “Viewing Mistakes as Failure.”  This is a big one… HUGE! Progress rarely comes in a straight line. Instead, we often think one step backward means we’ve gone all the way back to square one, and we give up. This type of mentality is actually setting yourself up for failure. So, recognize that you are going to mess up at times. It’s okay. It doesn’t mean you can make excuses – there can be a fine line there – but stuff happens. Instead of declaring yourself a failure, use all the mental energy that thinking robs from you to create a plan to get back on track!

Next week we will look at how to Overcome the other 5 Most Common Obstacles that Prevent People from Living Their Dreams.