I WISH I HAD GREATER SELF-DISCIPLINE – Part I

Self-discipline is a learned skill, not an inborn characteristic. It is not something that comes easily for anyone or is always an enjoyable thing to do. However, for those who are trained by it, it pays off in many incredible ways. Self-discipline is actually just selective training. It’s creating new habits of thought, action and speech in order to improve yourself and reach your goals.

Much of what needs to change involves our mindset, our thinking.  We have to stop looking at change as negative, or seeing discipline as punitive, but rather as a positive effort – it’s a correction in a way of doing things that is either not beneficial or even destructive. Self-discipline appears in various forms - like perseverance, restraint, endurance, thinking before we act, or finishing what we start. It’s also the ability to carry out our decisions and plans in spite of inconvenience, hardships or obstacles.

Any type of self-improvement in any area of our lives requires time and change (which we often want to fight against). There are, however, strategies you can implement to get you on your way and to help increase your self-discipline. It’s just about getting started somewhere.

If you don’t identify what you want to change and write it down, then you’re just going to do the same things over and over mindlessly. You will base your decisions to change on your feelings, and we all know how those fluctuate! Part of your plan may involve removing the temptations that you find difficult to overcome. For instance, if you can’t stop sneaking candy or chocolate after dinner, then write down that you’re going to stop purchasing it and “kindly” ask your family not to have it laying around where you can access it.

But the key is having a strategy ahead of time, so that you know what to do when temptation hits. Sitting on the couch fighting a mental battle is never going to sustain you and create the self-discipline you are looking to gain. It requires action – even in small increments… especially in small increments. It’s the little changes that make it doable and add up over time. You can always implement more as you go forward, but you have to start somewhere, no matter how small.

Another great trait of those who are self-disciplined is that they practice tolerating what we call emotional discomfort. It’s normal to want to avoid pain or discomfort, but trying to eliminate all discomfort will only reinforce to yourself that you can’t handle distress at all. We can usually stand a lot more discomfort than we think we can.

We have often told our clients that one way to change a habit or pattern in our body is to actually embrace the discomfort. When you do this, you need to realize that your body is looking for food and that you now have a choice. You aren’t starving – it’s your pattern. If you allow that hunger to continue without eating, within 15-20 minutes it will pass.

Since there is no longer food in the stomach, your body has to tap into its fat stores for fuel. This is part of the process of becoming a fat burner vs. a sugar burner. Realize that this is a positive and not a negative. This is a very applicable aspect of self-discipline. You are actually training your body, instead of allowing your body and emotions to dictate how it’s going to be.

Next week we will continue to look at ways to improve and reach our goals.